Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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