I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
