She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
