My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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