why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
