Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize