you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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