I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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