We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize