I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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