i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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