i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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