And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
