guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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