he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Holy shit dude........stairs
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
