When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
