Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
