Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
