We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
