actually, I'm a sock model
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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