Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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