SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
