Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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