we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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