I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
