We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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