i barfeds in our rink
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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