I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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