I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Randomize
