wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
