Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
