I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
