I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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