he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
