she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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