We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
