I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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