Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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