He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize