Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
