Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
