worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
