Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
