you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
