the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
