There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
