But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
