Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
