Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
