happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
