That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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