If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
