When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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