Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he puts the penis in happiness.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
MIDGETS
????
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
