I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
