hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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