He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
