what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
