Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
