Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
