so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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