Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
