Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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